A blog about a mommy, a daddy & two little boys finding the happy in ordinary, everyday life.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

the three of us

[from last night]

Oliver, you were bright eyed all day and fell asleep in the late evening, as did your brother. I thought the two of you would dream for hours, waking only to see if I was still beside you & then drift into dreamland once again when you realized that I was. I tried to sneak away for just a few moments, to take a bath, to sooth a headache I could feel coming on. Your brother woke first. I could hear his distant, soft cries & I wrapped myself in a towel & brought him to the bath with me. While we were drying off and dressing, I could hear you quietly sobbing for new undies. You had a potty accident in mamas bed. I told you not to cry and that it was just an accident. We changed the sheets and you asked to, "Nuggle Mommy", and so we snuggled and watched Scooby Doo, and I showed you the pink clouds in the sky. You pressed your face all the way against the window to get the best view. It's nights like these, the most mundane of them all that are most important to my soul. We've spent so many days and nights just like this one, tonight, and I long for the simplicity of them. I crave them. The closeness. The specialness. That just the three of us know. You, your brother, and mama. Will you remember these times? These simply special times? Times when it was just the three of us? I will remember, always.

Monday, May 18, 2015

reveling in their needs.

I take it for granted everyday. Boy, do I take it for granted. Even when I don't know I am doing it, I am. Taking my children for granted. I am just so often overwhelmed by their constant, their endless needs -- "it's 6 am wake up, breakfast, milk, teeth-brushing, hair-washing, diaper-changing, more milk, lunch, hold me, snuggle me, don't touch me, you're doing it wrong, hold me again, more milk, more diaper-changing, park, dinner, snack, brushing teeth once again, more washing up, snuggle me again, I can't fall asleep without you, I can't fall asleep with you facing that direction, I can't fall asleep unless I have a fist full of your hair..." But My God. What will I do when I'm not needed in this way? Have you ever stopped to think about it, and I mean really think about it? It's almost scary, isn't it? So, I'm just going to revel in the neediness of my babies & do what I know is best for this one who is cutting his second tooth, and just let him feel my beating heart while he naps this afternoon. And I'll feel his. Because I need, too. And, today, I need this.

Friday, May 8, 2015

Breathing Them In.

& when their eyes close & their breathing slows.
I'll stay right here. I'll stay just like this.
I'll acknowledge the particular placement of Owen's small hands,
tugging at my lace strap.
And I'll delight in the way Oliver moved my hand onto his forehead.
And I won't feel the need to sneak away.
To clean the messes of the early day.
But I'll just lay here.
And we'll heal each other of this weeks scars & create positive energy in our hearts.
In our souls.
And when things once again become wild with noise and rumpus I'll come back to this.
I'll close my eyes and I'll come back to this.
I'll breathe them in.
And it will heal me all over again.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

a place to belong.

Almost One + Almost Three. 

They can't drive or vote or hold their breath under water. 

They can't even make their own food, yet.

But, in this huge, gnarly universe, they give me somewhere to belong. 

Isn't that funny. 

These two boys, boys who have yet to discover the meaning of their own lives have given mine all the meaning in the world. 

Given my momma heart a home inside of theirs. 

This mother love is no joke.

Monday, April 6, 2015

Shelby + Kiowa Engagement Shoot.

Some of the friends we've made, since moving from Pueblo, Co to Hays, Ks are getting married!!
The two of them are hilarious & make such a wonderful couple.
& they were so kind to let me use their engagement session as my first [real] shoot!

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Painting Indoors! [with eco kids finger paint]

The wind here in good ole Hays, America is seriously out of control. 
You can set foot outside maybe between the hours of 7 & 9 am without getting blown to the ground.
& since the wind is so crazy, we've been stuck inside & honestly, we're going crazy.

I peeked inside the hall closet today when the boys were distracted by Curious George & I grabbed one of their Easter gifts that the Easter Bunny dropped off early. [Dude must have heard about the wind.] It was Eco Kids Finger Paint!

Eco Kids finger paint is so easy to use. It comes in pre-packaged powder form, and all it requires is water. So I grabbed some old baby food jars & added equal amounts of powder & water, mixed it & the boys were painting within seconds. & I have powder left for next time!!

But, to be honest, I love this paint not for the easy assembly [although I DO love that], I love this paint because it is natural & safe non-toxic paint. It's made from veggies, people!!

The boys had such a blast & I had even more fun watching & photographing them!

Friday, February 27, 2015

Eight Month Owen

Eight Months.
I cannot believe we've been so blessed to have spent the past eight months (plus nine on the inside) loving you!
You are such a bright light in our lives.
A light we thank the heavens for, every second of every day.